


try again

by lesmiserablol



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Getting Back Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesmiserablol/pseuds/lesmiserablol
Summary: Why is it impossible for Bahorel to have a normal conversation with his ex? They used to have normal conversations all the time, back when they became friends the instant Courfeyrac introduced them years ago. Well, for Bahorel it was instant. Feuilly would say it wasn’t until an hour after they met, when Bahorel was drunk enough to sing “Part of Your World” for karaoke, that he decided that he and Bahorel were going to get along just fine.
Relationships: Bahorel/Feuilly (Les Misérables)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	try again

The kids are distracted enough with their game of freeze tag that Bahorel, frozen near the backyard fence, sees the opportunity to escape to get a drink. Their giggles and shrieks are silenced when the back door to the house closes behind him. They’re celebrating Enjolras and Grantaire’s oldest daughter’s birthday, and it’s nice to have the rare opportunity to get all their friends together and have the kids run around and play without a care in the world. But after a few hours, Bahorel is in need of a break.

He walks into the kitchen and freezes for a moment when he sees Feuilly is in there, having the same idea as Bahorel. He recovers quickly and grabs a soda from the fridge. “Hey,” he greets, trying way too hard to sound casual. 

“Hi,” Feuilly says with the same forced tone, leaning against a kitchen counter. He takes a sip from his Dr. Pepper, which is So Feuilly that Bahorel hasn’t been able to drink it since they broke up eleven months ago. Well, ten months and three weeks, but Bahorel is rounding up. Not that he’s counting. 

Bahorel snaps out of his thoughts and opens his root beer, hesitating before leaning against the fridge, just feet apart from Feuilly. “Some party, huh?” he says, wincing internally as soon as he says it. Why is it impossible to have a normal conversation with his ex? They used to have normal conversations all the time, back when they became friends the instant Courfeyrac introduced them years ago. Well, for Bahorel it was instant. Feuilly would say it wasn’t until an hour after they met, when Bahorel was drunk enough to sing “Part of Your World” for karaoke, that he decided that he and Bahorel were going to get along just fine.

Feuilly laughs, and Bahorel’s embarrassment is replaced with a nice warmth in his chest. “Definitely. I think I prefer it to the ones we went to in college.”

Now it’s Bahorel’s turn to laugh, and he relaxes as he does. He can do this. He promised he could do this, that he could be Feuilly’s friend after two wonderful years of being his boyfriend. He hasn’t been doing so well on that promise. It was slightly less painful to just not see or talk to Feuilly at all, but it still hurt like hell to not have him in his life. Now, he can make up for it. 

“The party attendees are definitely better. Not one drunk person has thrown up on me or tried to fight me!” Bahorel notes. “But I’ll admit, those kiddos are experts at tag in all ways, shapes, and forms that it comes in.”

Feuilly shakes his head with a smile. “You’re a saint, entertaining them for so long.”

“Well, just the burden of being the favorite uncle, I guess,” Bahorel smirks. “Why haven’t you been joining us? Has the dreaded day come, when you have finally decided you’re too cool to run around with a bunch of squealing children?”

Feuilly shrugs. “I wanted to, but sitting down with all the adults seemed like the better option today. I worked a graveyard shift last night.”

“Are you working nights again?” Bahorel frowns.

Feuilly nods, avoiding eye contact. “Only three days of the week, but yeah.”

“Do you need to leave now? Hell, I know Enjolras and Grantaire won’t mind if you crash on the couch or even their bed. Will you be okay to drive home?” 

Feuilly meets Bahorel’s eyes, smiling softly. “I’ll be okay. The party is almost over, anyway. I can take myself home and then nap until my next shift.”

Bahorel nods. Home. That used to mean their apartment on 47th avenue. “Right. Okay. Well that’s good.”

“Thanks for the offer, though,” Feuilly says quickly, and he puts his drink down on the counter and takes a step forward. “I appreciate it.”

Bahorel notices something different in his eyes now. It’s soft and sweet, as opposed to the awkward, guarded look Feuilly usually has when he talks with Bahorel these days. Feuilly glances at the exit of the kitchen, taking another step in that direction.

Before he can stop himself, Bahorel says, “I miss you.” 

Feuilly freezes and turns to face Bahorel. He is quiet for a second, and Bahorel expects him to put his walls back up, maybe even proceed to leave the kitchen, but he just smiles instead. “I’m right here.”

“No, not like that. You know what I mean. You’re here, but it’s not the same.  _ We  _ are not the same,” Bahorel insists. 

“Bahorel...” Feuilly starts, his expression pained. 

“Feuilly,” Bahorel interrupts, and he pushes himself off the fridge to stand in front of him. “Please, listen to me. I know it’s my fault. I know I ruined it. But...I’ve had a lot of time to think. Every time I go on dates, nothing ever comes of them. And it’s because I can’t stop thinking about you. Before, I was scared. Scared that I wouldn’t be a good father or a good husband, scared I wasn’t good enough for you, scared I would disappoint you if we tried. But now I realize all that fear was nothing compared to the fear of losing you. I need you in my life, Feuilly. I need you so bad it hurts. I still have days where I wake up surprised to find the bed empty, and then it’s like I can’t breathe because of how much I miss you.”

Feuilly sighs. “I miss you, Bahorel. So much. I’m having rotten luck with dating, too. No one can handle this much sass with the same grace and equal amounts of sass as you did. After we broke up, you told me to go out there and find my dream guy. And I found guys who I got along with, who loved kids, who had the same goals and passion as me. But none of them were my dream guys. Because they weren’t you. You’re my dream guy, Bahorel. You always have been.”

Bahorel takes a deep breath. “Feuilly, I wasn’t ready before, but now I am. I love all of our friends’ kids so much. They helped me realize maybe I do have a shot at this. Maybe I can be a decent foster parent, with you by my side. And I’m going to love our kids and be the best father I can be for them. If you’ll have me.”

Feuilly is quiet, head bowed. When he finally looks up, his eyes are red. “You mean it?”

“Yes,” Bahorel breathes, grabbing his hands. “I mean every word. More than anything, Feuilly. These past eleven months have been hell, but now I know how badly I need you in my life.”

“Ten months and three weeks,” Feuilly corrects with a smirk. He stops to take a deep breath. “I love you.”

Bahorel ignores the tear that goes down his own face. “I love you, too. I’m ready to try again.”

Feuilly smiles. “So am I.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love Bahorel/Feuilly and I decided there aren't enough fics of the two of them so here is my contribution. Kudos and comments are my best friends!! Thanks for reading, find me on tumblr [here](http://www.lesmiserablol.tumblr.com) :)


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